Tuesday, September 19, 2017


Kneeling on the floor, a towel protecting my knees, I was eager to get started.  I had one eye on the large, sharp butcher knife Master had placed on the cutting board at the kitchen table.  My ankle cuffs pressed into my skin in a comforting way as I knelt.   He told me to get started, pressing the tip of the knife into my neck.  It is necessary to be vigorous and yet cautious in such circumstances.  

Another day, it is his short sword, also known as katana.  As I lie on the floor the the tip touches my chest, right at the sternum.  My heart responds, as does my swelling cunt.   The heart rate increase, understandably due to fear.  The cunt?  Traitorously lubing now, becoming excited at the thought of rape and mayhem?   Hard to say why.   But it does, and when he slides into me, with the sword at my neck, again I'm struggling to hold back any vigorous movements that may injure me, striving to be still and accept his plundering attentions.  When he tells me to come I can't help myself, regardless of my attempt to be still and avoid injury.   It is only a small orgasm, this time, because I'm afraid.  When he puts the sword aside and slaps my face, hard, over and over, on both sides, sometimes with a backhand, I am driven to a sexual frenzy and I come with abandon.  

Monday, September 18, 2017

Negotiating Play Questions

1) Soft/Hard limits?

My Master does not let me do (receive) ass play with people other than him.  Hard limit, unless he tells you otherwise.

Use condoms for PIV.

Blood play, my Master will probably not allow.   A little incidental cut from cane, whip or other implement is fine.

Breath play, you should ask him first.  He has okayed this for very few partners.   

My Master requires a safeword system to be in place when I play with others, and it is RED, which means stop and check in.  YELLOW means please switch to doing something else.   I have very rarely used either of those.

2) Medical conditions I should be aware of?

My back cannot tolerate certain positions on certain days.  This is mostly an issue with face-up suspension, but I will definitely speak up if I need to change positions at any time.

3) Sexually Transmitted Disease/Infection Status?

I get tested a couple of times a year for everything (Chlamydia, HIV, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, HPV, Hepatitis) but herpes.  If you don't have herpes (are you sure? Have you gotten tested? 80% of adults do have some form of herpes and you can get 1 and 2 in either location, oral or genital, and you may never have had a symptom) then you might want to take precautions. 

Condoms are a must for me, for PIV.  Not a must for oral- this is a risk my Master is willing to take. 

4) Body areas to avoid hitting and/or off-limits?

None, use normal caution around joints and such.  But if you bite my stomach without using restraints on me you may get punched. Sorry, not sorry.

5) How long do you typically scene?

Usually not long enough.  Time flies when you are having fun!
 I like to be a puddle of exhaustion afterward, so if you have the energy, go for it.  My longest have been several hours and the shortest, a couple of whacks (I don't even know if that counts).

6) When was your last scene?

Probably not very long ago.

7) What are your aftercare needs?

I can usually ask for what I need, this is not a problem for me, and it varies.  Possibly a blanket if it is at all chilly, and some sitting down time.  If you would like to cuddle, I enjoy it, but if not, my Master can take over there.  After a bit of rest, a drink or a snack might be good.  If the play was fairly short or light, I won't need anything.

8) Triggers?

Biting my stomach can trigger punching.  Or crying. Or both.

If you try to make me switch (to being dominant/topping you), that's a scene ruin-er for me.  It makes me very uncomfortable.  My Master can do it because he owns my ass and doesn't mind making me uncomfortable, but if others do it they run the risk of me never wanting to play with them again (not that I always get a choice!).

9) Words to especially use or avoid (slut/whore/cunt/bitch)?

I can't think of any words that are really bad for me.  If you call me Mistress you better be joking.  Because I will laugh.

I am sensitive to harsh criticism.  If you tell me I'm not doing well, I will feel bad and have even cried if I thought the person was serious and not just doing "scene talk".  I'm not saying it is a no-go area, but I am mentioning it just to make people aware of what may be my reaction. 

10) Marks (bruises, semi-perm, perm)?

Yes, please.  Talk to my Master first if you want to do anything that can't be covered up (such as to my face).  I don't know if he will allow that or not- it is doubtful.

11) What specifically do you want to experience?

I go into subspace fairly easily and I LOVE it, so that's always fun.  
In terms of specifics I like to do what pleases the person I'm playing with.  I love them to direct where we go and what we do. 
 I do not like to specifically direct things; having to do that would make play unappealing for me.

12) What are your longer-term, bucket-list items?

Heh, I don't give that out to just anyone, sorry!  

13) Anything else you want to add or let me know?

I enjoy fear play and humiliation.  I enjoy "force" or rape play.  I have an easy time doing "willing suspension of disbelief" in a scene.  I love being restrained.  Knives are hot. 

 I enjoy sex with my play, and basically all types of play feel sexual to me even if we aren't touching bits.   I like to be made to do things I don't really like, just because my Master or someone I am playing with wants them. It feels humiliating to me, but in a very good way.   I like to be objectified a LOT.  If you talked only to him as if I weren't there in negotiations, this is a major turn on for me. 

I squirt a lot in some circumstances. You may need a towel/tarp/blanket.  I orgasm easily and on command.  

If you hurt me too much I may get the urge to fight back. I will try really hard not to do so unless you like that sort of play (just tell me).   I will feel bad if I have to safeword.

14) Bonus Question: How do we know when it's over?

When you are done.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Let's Do It

Some musical accompaniment for my blog: Let's Do It

Our good friends T. and W. came to visit because he (T.) was speaking at a local group.  They stopped by here to pick me up, then we went over to Dr P.'s house to pick him up, then on to the munch.  Master drove separately because he was working in the morning nearby there.   They were all introduced here: Cast of Characters.

Before anything started I selected a seat on a bar stool next to W. so I could chat with her.  We were behind and slightly to the side of the table T. was sitting at.  The other chairs and the small audience were all arranged in front of the table.  I sat quietly and listened, knowing that Master and T. had talked about me being one of the demo subjects for the first talk (knives).  I wasn't sure if I should stay in my seat of go sit with the rest of the audience.   Eventually Master arrived after getting out of work, and I slipped off my stool to join him at a table.  A few minutes later T. walked toward me purposefully with a long curved knife in hi hand.  He looked at Master and said "May I?" and Master said "Sure".  No one asked me, the slave, of course.

 It wasn't this exact knife, but it was close enough to this style.  Definitely wicked curved and scary looking.   He yanked my hair back firmly, exposing my throat.   The knife brushed my skin.  I closed my eyes.  He told me to open my mouth, which I did obediently, eyes widened as well as my mouth.  He tapped my teeth with the metal.  Who told him I hated dentistry?  Oh yeah, I did.  Tap, tap, tap. On. My. Teeth.  The sensation was indescribable.   Even when he stepped away the feeling on my teeth lingered.  

Later on he was discussing scene communication and told everyone that some day he'd like to play with me really hard, much longer and harder than we ever had before.   I have a lot of feelings about this!  Mostly excitement, but with a healthy dose of fear in there. 

They spent the night at our house, but there was no play all together because of our kids being here and Master not wanting to risk them discovering us.

The next day, Sunday, it was just Master and I and we had something of an all day sex-fest.  He was horny and frustrated at not having had a chance at W. (something that T. heavily encouraged).

Naked Gardening Happens

Pulling weeds in the heat of the sun, my cunt still sore from being used roughly earlier that warm Sunday morning, I crawled across the sandy soil, careful over the spiny pumpkin vines, plucking out the long grasses from among them.   Master worked several feet away from me in his own patch of weedy vines. 

"Pull up your shirt while you work so I can see your tits" he ordered.  I lifted my shirt, freeing them, since I hadn't put on a bra that day.  I attempted to tuck the shirt around in a knot so it would stay up even when I went back to crawling, but it would only stay for a short time and then I'd have to re-tuck it to give Master the view he wanted. 

After more minutes of weeding and me fussing with my shirt he told me to take it off completely.  I hung it on the garden fence.  The sun warming my back felt good.  I resumed my crawling.  The occasional brushes of breast against pumpkin vine did not feel so good, but I didn't say anything.  I was getting very aroused by the idea that Master was watching me (while not seeming to watch) as I worked topless.  

He came up to me, stood in front of me, and asked if I wanted a taste. Of course I did.

He unzipped his shorts and took out his cock. I eagerly took him in my mouth.  That didn't last long before he turned me around, told me to get on all fours and jerked at my shorts.  I helped slide them down in front.  His cock slid into my aching wet hole.  Soon he pulled me to stand up and ordered me to grab the corner post of the garden fence.  I gripped rough wood in both hands as he entered me again.

Master told me we were done gardening and if we wanted to fuck properly we should go up to the bedroom.   I rinsed my hands and knees before going up to him.  

In the bed, he took off the wrist strap I always wear and fastened it to both my wrists in its specially designed handcuff fashion. I was laid out in front of him on the bed with my cuffed wrists pinned above my head in his hand.  My body arched up to him with intense desire as he kissed me.  His cock brushed against me, but he didn't enter my cunt yet.

Instead, he took the leash from the bed post and began slapping my inner thighs and my pussy with it.  I arched up again, somehow trying to fuck the slapping leash.  The metal snap made me jump on each heavy impact, but I strained back toward it for more.

Finally, he came down on top of me with all his weight, entering me.  It was bliss.   

When he unfastened my hands he allowed me to ride on top of him.  I came many times- I have no idea how many. 
Master finished and we lay in a wet heap, soaked with sweat and sex fluids and ready for (another) shower.

And at bedtime he (again!) used my mouth while fingering me.  I got a salty treat.  I was good and sore the next day.


Monday, September 11, 2017

TMI Tuesday: Reality

1. What is your reality?

The beautiful farm, sunshine, family, a slight feeling of lonely sadness mixed with anticipation of future happiness and also anxiety about phone calls, and worrying about family and friends in the path of hurricane Irma.  

  2. Will you have sex today? This week?

Today, no.  Master will be working all night.  We had sex twice on Sunday and then he wanted a bed time blowjob during which he fingered me.  It was an extraordinary sex-filled day and I really should write a blog about it.

  3. What did you hate doing this past weekend?

Nothing.  I had a great weekend.

  4. What did you love doing this past weekend?

Seeing friends, going to a munch, eating dinner out, making breakfast for our friends and my family, having sex a lot, not to mention being threatened at sword and knife-point by Master and Travis.  And half naked gardening.

  5. Which new technology have you found most helpful in your life? 

The computer.  It does so much, like help me write this blog.

Which do you find to be the most annoying?

I don't usually keep around technologies that annoy me.  I guess it would be websites that have video ads that you can't close.  That bugs me. 

TMI Tuesday link


Did you ever have one of those days when it is a perfectly fine day, everything looks rosy, but you're just not in tune with those feelings or the how the day looks?  I'm feeling a bit nostalgic today.  Not really sad, but kind of missing various things/ and people. 

I miss...

Kaya's blog and writings.

Other people on Fet who I used to hear a lot more from. 

My friends who I broke up with for reasons, I miss them being friendly with me.  Ex-friendships are like a big black mark.

Sex with a certain special someone. Cuddling in a pile.

My children being small enough that they could be taken places like the library or the park and have a good time (now they protest and moan and complain about being made to go anywhere).

I miss yesterday, when there were people here. Now I'm alone and a bit lonely.   

I should get out and do things.  We had a great weekend and I miss it. 

Sunday, September 10, 2017

People I had sex with

There was a facebook meme going around which was "Let us guess how many people you have had sex with" and then they give you some completely ridiculous random number, like 215.  This made me start to wonder if I even remember, and while I am remembering, maybe I should write them down lest I forget.  However, so as not to cause consternation/embarrassment to others, I'm going to abbreviate them all with only two letters.

First, what counts as sex?  For sure, there are more things than just PIV that are sex.  So, oral, yes, that is sex.  If I just had oral sex (either giving or receiving) then I had sex.  Handjobs?  I'm going to say no.  Why? Because I feel like it.   S/M play?  Not exactly sex, so that doesn't count.  What if I had an orgasm but nobody was penetrated?  Still not sex because that happens a lot- in the nature center, at a restaurant, where ever Master wants to tell me to orgasm.  

Now that we have that out of the way, here it is:

Ma.(different than the first Ma.)
(at least three guys whose names I don't know)


So, that is 19, at least.  Possibly 20.  I lost count once, it was a bit intense.

Eight of those are women, 11 are men.   

The number shouldn't be important, maybe, but it is.  To me, anyway.  I don't feel it is high or low, nor does that matter if you have more or fewer, but I just don't want to forget.   I mean, any more than I already did forget.  Does that make any sense or am I blathering?  


Kneeling on the floor, a towel protecting my knees, I was eager to get started.  I had one eye on the large, sharp butcher knife Master had ...