I need a better title

The things he came up with last night affected me so strongly and strangely that after I have begged to come, after I have been on the edge of coming just from his words, well, not just his words because he has beaten my ass raw and is fucking away deep inside me, after I come...

 It is the humiliation of the things he is saying that is driving me to the edge of orgasm.  I want it so badly, I beg him for it.  After he has given me permission and I come with a great soaking, I want to laugh.  

It seems highly inappropriate, to laugh after being utterly destroyed with humiliation, being taken down a very dark path into the boggy subconscious where the things I fear could very well be real. 

When I have let go of myself this way I WANT them to be real. 

After I have come, I see in his eyes that he wants to laugh too.  And we do. For a second I am afraid that we are far apart.  I'm not sure but that we are laughing at different things.   I'm laughing at myself for being so insanely and utterly turned on by such horrible things.  It turns out he's laughing for the same reason and we are so close together that we almost share two halves of the same very twisted mind. 

Yes, it is horrible and scary and even probably a little evil, but it is so hot.

 And somehow that makes it funny.